


Don't Laugh, But I Think I'm Force Sensitive

by Bichol



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Black Paladin Allura (Voltron), Blood, Emotional Conversations 101 With Professor Lance, Gen, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith needs to get his head out of his ass, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Lance as well tbh, Lance sees ghosts.... kind of, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Oblivious Lance (Voltron), Pidge does too, Pining Keith (Voltron), Plot Driven, Torturing My Favs: The Blog The Life The Legend, but it kind of is?, itll all make sense ok ill explain later, not really THAT shippy oops sorry, welcome to the QUEST... FOR SHIRO
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2018-10-24 21:56:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10750584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bichol/pseuds/Bichol
Summary: Everyone is torn and unsure after Shiro's disappearance, no Black Paladin, no Mighty Leader, no hope. Worst part? No one has any idea where to even begin looking for him!Except Lance. He may or may not have a plan.A plan that involves getting into things waaay over his head.No way this will end bad for him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello, its ya main girl, me. look i have no idea what im doing, why im posting this, or why i thought writing it in the first place was a good idea. i have no time to write! yet here i am!  
> anyway i already have every chapter outlined and it just fucking _wouldn't. leave. my head._  
>  so here, have this, i havent even finished my other fic. but fuck it. ill probably take my sweet ass time between publications sorry yall love u mwwah

"So that's it. Shiro wanted— _wants_ me to... be the leader..." 

Oh heck no. 

They're all gathered at the castle's hangar, the black lion a menacing figure behind their backs. (She seems to have turned off completely after Shiro disappeared, and it's been two weeks. Her eyes are opaque and it took Blue and Yellow's team effort to drag her to the castle after the battle.) And Lance can see all the paladins —plus Coran and Allura— and their shocked faces when Keith tells them. 

And like, Lance is not even surprised, with Keith's news, he means. Obviously Shiro would be leader-y enough to have already planned ahead in case he needed a replacement. And in Shiro's mind Keith is obviously the best option. Pidge is a child, Allura already has enough with the castle, Coran is, well, Coran, and, really, he barely even spoke to Lance and Hunk anyway. Not that he's salty about that or anything. 

It doesn't mean Keith is _really_ the best option, tough, and Lance is obviously going to make everyone know his opinion about it. 

"Oh heck no. No way! Are you serious? Princess, are you seriously gonna allow this? Seriously?" Lance says. 

Allura stops looking at Keith and turns to Lance, her expression souring. They're all looking at him right now, faces judging, and Lance does _not_ deserve this. 

"Lance come on—" Starts Hunk before Allura interrupts him. 

"I do not know how to feel about this, none of us do. But right now is _not_ the time, Lance" she snaps. 

"Not the time for what?" Lance responds. Oh he's ready to go, man. He's got points. He's got stuff to say. He'll fight the princess. He'll do it! 

"What do you mean no way, huh? You saying I couldn't handle being a leader?" Keith interrupts, facing Lance and sticking his chest out menacingly. And Lance is just _so_ ready to go. New plan, he'll fight Keith. Probably didn't stand a chance against the princess anyway. 

"Okay, first of all, projecting much? I literally never said that and you are just hearing what you want to hear. Second of all—" 

"Lance" warns Hunk for a second time that day. Lance doesn't listen for the millionth time that life. 

"—you bet your butt I'm saying you couldn't handle being a leader". Lance continues airily, with a sardonic smile, and Keith all but _growls_. He takes a step towards Lance and although he is several inches shorter, he looks larger. Lance is _not_ intimidated, tough. He's not! He steps closer too, almost in Keith's personal bubble now. He does have a point to make here though. Several. "Besides, Voltron's leader has to pilot the black lion. Have you forgot that? Do you think Red is gonna let you go that easily?" 

Keith halts, obviously taken aback by Lances words. Which he really shouldn't? They've all seen how protective Red seems to be about his paladin. How many times has she come back to save Keith's butt already, like four? 

"I... she'll manage, okay? And you will manage too. It's what Shiro would have wanted!" Shouts Keith. 

"There it is again". Pidge's voice rings stark against the blood running in Lance's ears. Oh right, there are other people in the room besides Mullet. 

"What?" Keith turns his head towards her. Pidge is the farthest from them, with her arms crossed and she _does not_ look happy. 

"That 'would have wanted' thing you keep saying! You keep talking about Shiro as if he was dead!" She snaps. 

"I'm— I'm not!" Goes Keith, he seems completely taken aback now. He even takes a step back. Lance kind of wishes he hadn't done that, though he isn't sure why. 

"You are! And he's not dead!" Pidge all but screams. 

"Of course he isn't! He's not! He's just—" Keith has put up his hands in a surrender gesture. "He's just not here, and I'm trying—" 

"To take his place as the leader? Fail." Lance can't help but add. 

"Shut _up_ Lance! I'm trying to do the right thing here!" Keith says, back to screaming again the second he hears Lance's voice. And Lance prefers this Keith. Screaming raging Keith. He can handle that way better than Uncertain Keith anyway. 

"The right thing to do is look for him!" Pidge takes a few steps towards Keith, she looks like she's about to punch him in the face. Hunk even puts her hands near her personal bubble with a "Whoa, there", ready to hold her in case she jumps to scratch Keith or something. 

"And _how do you suggest we start doing that, huh Pidge?_ " Keith growls, teeth blaring, right in Pidge's face. He waits for her answer, a challenge. 

And Pidge... deflates immediately. She opens her mouth, ready to say something, but no words come out. 

"That's right. You don’t know either." Keith says, and he sounds so defeated. A deafening silence reigns for a few moments, all of them thinking the same thing. Where is he? Where did he go? How can they even start looking for him? 

Is he even alive? 

"I'm gonna go try talking to Black now. Fuck off." Says Keith, turning around towards Shiro's lion. He's midway through the hangar when Lance remembers he has a mission, damnit! 

"Dude! Stop!" Lance runs behind Keith, his long legs reach him pretty fast, and he grabs Keith's arm in an attempt to make him turn around. 

"Don't _touch_ me!" Keith snaps, brusquely pushing Lance away. He stopped walking, though. 

"Jeez, okay! Just— hear me out, okay?" Lance says, taking a deep breath to mentally prepare himself for what he's about to do. Lance is really, _really_ not one to beg. He hates it. Especially when it's _Keith_ , okay? His eyes are practically _watering_ here, that's how much he doesn't want to do this. But Keith is not _listening_! Or, well, sensing, maybe? 

And how can Keith not _sense_ it anyway? Lance can hear Red screaming with jealousy in his head so hard he feels it's about to explode! And he isn't even Red's paladin! If Keith tries to pilot Black something is going to happen. And it's not gonna be pretty. 

"Let's do this the fair way right? Why don't we all take turns piloting Black or communing with her or whatever. That way we can see who she preffers! And you won't need to abandon Red or something!" Lance says. Really, his plan is amazing. Everyone else who doesn't have a lion with anger issues will go before Keith, Black will pick Allura because they're Meant To Be In The Meantime, and everyone will be so amazed with Lance's solution they'll give him the Leader tittle and— 

"Starting with you?" Keith says. Low, threatening. 

"I mean, sure?" Lance shrugs, it's not like he's going to leave Blue anyway so it doesn't matter if he goes first. He just really needs to make sure Keith _does not get on that lion_ because hoooly crab is Red _drilling_ his head right now. How can Keith not sense this!? 

"I'm so fucking sick of this." Said paladin huffs, turning away from Lance and walking towards Black _again_. Before Lance can stop him he's already reaching one of the elevator thingies that get you to the top of each of the lion's heads. 

"What? Keith! No!" Lance runs to reach him. What is Keith's deal anyway? He doesn't even look at him before the doors of the elevator close. Lance lets out a frustrated noise and takes the other one. "Come on, come on, comeoncomeoncomeon—" he urges the machine. When it opens, though, Keith is already climbing the hatch on the Black Lion's neck, he disappears from Lance's view as soon as he takes a step out of the elevator. 

"KEITH!" Lance shouts. No response. 

" _Serás un..._ " he starts to swear. Except nope. No swearing. He jumps after Keith and finds him hovering near Black's controls, looking unsure if he should sit. He then looks at Shiro's bayard and reaches for it, and Red all but _stabs_ Lance's head. 

"Nope. Heck no." Says Lance. With three steps he reaches the black bayard and sweeps it out before Keith can grab it. He stretches his hand over his head so that Keith can't reach it. 

"What the—" Keith starts. 

"Just hear me out man!" Lance starts. He has a feeling he kinda looks just a tiiiny bit ridiculous with his hand extended like that. What is he, twelve? Except he's suddenly feeling... weird. Like there's someone pressing something between his eyes? Did he seriously just got dizzy by extending his arm or something? Man he has to exercise. 

"Stop! Lance! I know you're obsessed with being the leader or something but just stop, okay? It's not going to work!" Keith shouts. And... what? Keith's got it completely wrong, damn it! 

"Okay first of all, I'd be a _great_ leader so screw you! Second, it's not that! Just—" This weird pressure thing in his head is growing and dizzying and _annoying_! Lance needs to concentrate here! Before he can react Keith is all the way over Black's pilot seat and he's starting to sit. 

"No!" Lance screams and runs. There's a sharp, metallic sound in his head —or maybe it was outside?— and the whole cockpit shakes with a huge impact. Lance stumbles and falls right on top of Keith, who's already sitting on the _illegal_ seat. God damnit Keith! 

"Wh—" Keith stammers, looking at Lance on top of him and... is he blushing? "Red?" he then says, doubtful, _finally_ getting it. 

"Look, we gotta leave!" Lance stumbles out of Keith's lap and grabs his wrist to make him stand up. Keith is so dumbfounded by what Red must be telling him he doesn't protest and follows him. 

"What is Red—" Keith starts saying before a second crash jolts the entire place. "Red! What are you doing!" 

"She's jealous! Or worried! Jealous and worried!" Lance pulls Keith's wrist, his other hand is still holding Shiro's bayard. "Now let's go!" He urges. Red is probably going to destroy Black if they stay here any longer and Lance's head is now _killing_ him, he's practically seeing double and the weird pressure is now increasing, _pulling_. 

"But—" Keith starts. There's a crash and the whole cockpit trembles and tilts. Lance loses his footing and hits the back of his head _hard_. 

" _Lance!!_ " 

His vision turns black. 

 

 

He's standing, he was pretty sure he'd been falling before. And everything is... silent. Also everything is black. 

Except... not really? When Lance squints, he can see stars, far off. And a planet? Yeah, it's becoming clearer. He can see them stretching, stretching, and it doesn't seem to stop. 

Where is he? 

Well, if anything, this is probably a dream. One of _those_ dreams. Lance knows he's got to let it play out till the end and then he'll wake up. That's how it usually works anyway. 

Huh, it's been a while since he'd had these. 

"Wh— Lance?" A voice says behind him. Lance turns brusquely right before a figure sends the person flying and hits the floor hard. 

Wait, he'd recognize that tuft of white hair anywhere. 

Shiro grunts, standing up weakly. Knees trembling and sweat coating his forehead. The man looks _tired_. Like beyond exhausted. Dark circles under his eyes so purple Lance can see them even at a distance, his breath so hard his whole chest is moving. His purple weapon-hand flickers on and off as if it's defective. But he extends it towards Lance and screams. 

"Lance! Run!" He urges. What? Lance turns. 

Towards him is approaching this huge Galra dude. Purple eyes, wearing some kind of cape. Lance has never seen him in person but he has no doubt this dude cannot _not_ be— 

"Zarkon!?" A voice next to him exclaims. Lance turns yet again. 

Keith is right next to him, purple light making his skin paler and sickly, like a ghost. He also seems to be... holding Lance's hand? When did that happen? 

"What the frick is happening!?" Lance manages to say. He takes it back, this is not like _any_ of those dreams! This is getting weirder by the second. 

"Shiro!?" Keith screams again, he's alternating between looking at Shiro and looking at the looming figure of Zarkon, who's still approaching them. 

"Keith! Run! You have to get away!" Shiro screams back. 

"Wh— he can't hurt us right? This is all a dream?" Lance says, uncertain. 

Zarkon slashes at the both of them with his sword, and Keith _gasps_. 

"Keith!" Both Lance and Shiro scream. Lance pulls Keith away by their joined hands and they fall. They keep falling. 

"Keith!" He hears Shiro. His scream is now muddled, as if he's hearing it through water. 

They keep falling. Falling. 

 

Lance opens his eyes in Black's cockpit. He's laying on the floor and his head is _killing_ him. 

"Ugh... what..." He goes to touch the bump he feels forming on the back of his head only to discover he's _still_ holding Shiro's bayard. He tosses it aside and rubs the place where he appears to have hit himself against Black's controls. His head is still hurting, and he understands nothing. Was that a dream? A vision? Did he pass out because he hit his head? Lame, no one can know about this. 

Except Keith is right there beside him. One of Keith's hands is clutching his side, the other one is wrapped tightly against Lance's fingers. 

"Are you okay?" Lance finds himself saying. Even though Keith could've not have possibly been there in real life. And even if he was, he couldn't have been hurt because this was a _dream_ , right? 

Right? 

Keith takes his hand away from his side. No blood. Lance lets out a sigh of relief. Okay, so it was a weird passing-out induced dream that won't/didn't happen. And Keith probably wasn't even there. Lance just dreamt about him. Okay. Weird. But okay. 

"Was that... real?" Keith gasps, face contorted in confusion and alarm. 

Or maybe they were both there. 

Can that happen? 

Lance feels like he's going crazy. His headache is not helping. 

This is going to be a tough one to try to explain.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lance is Elphaba.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me @ myself: girl what is this? why is this so long? girl what the fuck?  
> also as always thsi is not beta'd whatsoever.

See here's the thing.

Lance can't see ghosts. Not _really_. Not the kind of ghosts that exist on movies and all those spooky stories anyway, because those don't really exist. Real ghosts are far less scary and way more... well, sad.

Like, yes they look like they used to look right on the moment when they died —Lance has seen some _weird stuff_ —, but other than that, they don't really do much else. They don't move much, don't even talk, and not one of them has ever acknowledged that Lance can see them. Rude.

Ghosts kind of just... stand there. Doing nothing. A sad, pathetic imprint of the person they used to be in their past lifetime.

Lance remembers the first time he saw a ghost, back at Florida when he was three. The grown man wouldn't have been anything special except that, well, he happened to be covered in blood. And also no one else appeared to see him? Lance remembers his abuela telling him _"No jueges con esas cosas, ¡que son del diablo!"_ , his abuela was _harsh_ , man, telling a kid to shut up and to not play with "devil stuff". Yikes.

Come to think of it, almost no one on his family wanted to believe him. And the very few friends he told when he was younger all ended up believing Lance was just off his rocker. Then he started having The Dreams, and the few people who used to kind of believe him started just... thinking of it as some kind of ploy to get attention.  


And honestly, Lance can't even blame them. He knows he craves constant validation. He knows he'd do anything to get it. The whole I-can-see-ghosts-and-also-kind-of-have-weird-psychic-dreams-sometimes thing would fit right in, right? Except Lance really doesn't want people to think he's crazy.  


After a while he kind of just... stopped telling people. He can get his attention quota from other sources anyway.  


"What the _hell_ was that?! Did you feel that? Where you there?"  


Keith's fingers _still_ hold a vicious grip on Lance's hand, he doesn't seem to notice he's doing it. Instead he's looking at Lance with a weird mix of _I'm So Angry I'm An Angry Cat Hear Me Hiss_ , which is kind of a default expression Keith has, and _What The Heck Just Happened I'm Trying To Look Like I'm_ Not _Freaking Out_ , which is a new one, honestly. Lance just squints at him.  


"Lance!" Keith shakes his arm with his free hand. Lance's brain rattles in his skull and this is _not_ helping his headache.  


"Can you _not_?", He complains, shoving Keith's arm away. "I literally just almost cracked my head open because you couldn't listen to me in the first place!" Speaking of, Lance can still feel Red's distress nabbing at the back of his skull. She's stopped with the hitting, though. Keith's angry retort seems to die on his mouth as Lance adjusts his hand grip so that they're now sort of holding hands, kind of. Lance is invalid right now and needs a little support on getting up, okay? Besides, this way he can ensure Keith doesn't do anything stupid like go back to Black's main controls or something. "Let's get out of here", Lance grumbles, walking towards the exit and pulling Keith along with him. He follows Lance without saying anything which is... weird of him, but Lance is not complaining.  


"So are you just going to pretend we didn't have an out of body experience just now? That we didn't just saw Shiro?", aaand Lance spoke too soon.  


Quick! Come up with something! "Did we? Maybe you just want to see Shiro so badly you're seeing things!", Keith visibly flinches and Lance knows that was a low blow. Can't take it back now, though. He's going to blame the headache for that one.  


"Why are you so defensive about this?" Keith says, shaking his head, "You've had visions like that before!"  


Wait, what? "I— Wh— No I haven't!" Lance stammers. Is he that obvious? A cold sweat is spreading through his forehead.  


"On Blue's cave? Remember?" Keith says, cocking an eyebrow.  


"Oh... right". _Crap_. Now Keith looks like he suspects something.  


"So what was that? And what's your deal?!" He pushes, raising his voice. They're already on the elevator on their way down, and Lance lets go of Keith's hand to take a step back. Keith's gaze focuses for a single moment on the space left between them, brows furrowed.  


"Nothing's my deal, or whatever! You just needed to get out of Black and talk to your lion!" Says Lance, raising his voice on the same level as Keith's.  


"It was you, right? I've been in Black before and nothing like this has happened before!" This can't be happening! Lance needs to get away from Keith's prodding _right now_. His stupid mouth is starting to ramble!  


"Maybe it wasn't the right time? Maybe your Galra Senses were tingling? Maybe you're the chosen one! Okay I take that back you're _not_ the chosen one. Just leave me alone, okay? Go talk to Red, she's getting antsy", he pushes Keith right out of the elevator as soon as the doors open. Keith makes a grunting sound and is about to scream at Lance something about him being the scum of the Earth, probably, but then Red makes a distressed whimper. Kind of like a mewl. She's being restrained by Yellow, although she seems to have mostly calmed down. Only her tail, moving from side to side in a wide sweep, and her eyes set completely on Keith, makes it clear she's not as calm as she appears to be. Keith is in for a _talk_.  


"How did you even knew— This isn't over, Lance!" Says Keith as he strides towards his lion. Not without turning to Lance first and poking his chest with a menacing finger.  


"No, apparently it's not." Lance grumbles. No time to think about that, though. He's got more pressing matters at the moment. Like getting back to Black and figuring this whole thing out.  


Except Allura and Coran are now approaching the elevator, and Lance can hear Allura speaking.  


"I think it's time for me to try and wake Black up", she says with a sigh, A tortured look in her eyes as she glances at Black's still figure.  


"Looks like you may end up being her new pilot after all!" Coran retorts, giving Keith and Red's conversation a knowing look. "For the time being, at least".  


"You can't get in there!" Lance screams at Allura and Coran as they reach the elevator. Allura's eyes immediately close into slits.  


"And why not, Lance?", she asks.  


On hindsight, Lance should _probably_ have thought an excuse out before screaming at them.  


"Because... It's my turn with Black! Yeah! Keith already got his chance and we saw how _that_ turned out. Now it's my chance!" He gestures wildly from Keith to Black, but a wave of nausea takes hold of his head and he sways in his place a little. Huh.  


"Lance..." Allura says his name in the same way someone would refer to their annoying pet who just torned up _yet another_ pillow.  


"Are you hurt?" Coran chimes in, noticing Lance's embarrassing sickness.  


"Nah. It's nothing." He dismisses Coran's question with a wave of his hand.  


"Lance." Allura warns him.  


"...Just a little dizzy, is all." Lance shrugs. What is their deal anyway? "I'm just gonna... go up again. Yep. Me and Black are about to have the conversation of a lifetime. You can have your chance later, princess", he tries to deflect the conversation, but Coran is having none of it.  


"Is that normal?" He asks, brows furrowed in confusion. He turns to look at Allura, who simply shrugs and turns to Lance.  


"Well, um... no?", he responds.  


"Then you should get that checked out immediately!" Coran lifts a finger and points it at Lance as he walks towards him. He puts his arm over his shoulder in a half embrace. And normally Lance would never turn down an almost hug by Coran The Man himself, but right now he's _busy_ damnit! He tries to disentangle himself from him but— "Let me escort you to the medical bay. You'll be as good as new in a jiffy!" Coran continues, pushing Lance towards the exit. The Man is _strong_.  
"But—"  


"Don't worry, Lance." The princess interrupts. When Lance turns she's looking again at the Black Lion. "There's a high chance this won't work out anyway", and she sounds... insecure? "I didn't want to... barge in like this. It just seems like a violation of Black and Shiro's privacy but...", she squares her shoulders and lifts her chin, all traces of insecurity disappearing from her face at once. "Just go, you two. I'll figure this out."

 

It takes a long time and a _lot_ of excuses before Lance can get rid of Coran. In the end, he makes Lance promise to go to the medical bay alone, because Lance hit him with the " _I need to take a shower before entering the healing pods because I touched Keith's hand for like four minutes and MULLET GERMS_ ". He can tell Coran didn't believe a single word. But he left anyway. So. He's still gonna take that as a win. Lance is a winner.  


This winner is _not_ going to the medical bay, though. He's got more important things to do right now. Like find Shiro, for example.  


Lance's very thought out plan to Find Shiro Again goes like this:  


First and foremost, he needs to figure out what the heck was that whole dream about. Was it really one of Those Dreams? Because The Dreams he tends to have? They usually not make a lot of sense. They're just flashes, glances of things that have already happened/are happening right now/will happen in the future, always about people Lance cares about, and so convoluted and filled with _stuff_ , that Lance invariably wakes up with no idea what just happened, how to make any of it, and feeling like he never slept a single wink. Compared to those ones, this last dream seemed to make a lot of sense. Hey, at least it was _linear_. He's pretty sure it was real because... he has a _feeling_ , okay? He just _knows_ , in his heart, and that's that.  


So. Dream? Real. Shiro appearing to be lost in a weird purple space with no sleep and no food? Happening. Shiro being lost in a weird purple space fighting _Zarkon_? Alarming. Step one complete? ...yes? Yes. Definitely.  


Now what's important here, is that Lance needs figure out how to have that dream _again_ so that he can get more information on Shiro's exact whereabouts. Something like a clue. Some space directions. A map written in the floor that leads Lance directly to Shiro. _Something_. That's step two. Then Lance and Blue can lead the team on an epic rescue mission and Shiro will lead them to universe salvation and then it would mean that _maybe_ this weird quirk Lance has tried to suppress or hide his entire life is actually... a talent?  


So... instead of going to the medical bay Lance is going to Shiro's room and... he's going to sleep on Shiro's bed.  


Which is probably the creepiest thing he's ever done in his _life_.  


Look, okay. Right now he's fresh out of ideas. If his Special Shiro Dream happened because he passed out instead of sleeping, he can probably ask Hunk to punch him? He doesn't want to mess up his face if it's not needed though? If it happened because he was with Keith and Keith has somehow the same thing as him only _better_ then, well, that would just be depressing. He doubts it though, because Keith looked _freaked_. If it happened because he was in Black and that somehow connected him _through_ Black to Shiro's soul or whatever then, well. He can't exactly return to the lion right now because Allura is doing her magic princess thing there and from what he can see through Blue's mind Allura will be there for a _while_. If it happened because he was holding the black bayard when he passed out then it means the dream will probably still work if he falls asleep with something related to Shiro. Maybe. It's his best guess right now. So he's going to sleep in Shiro's room.  


That's the plan.  


Except when he gets there, Pidge is already there.  


"Seriously?" Lance lets out an annoyed huff. He can hear Pidge's startled gasp. Lance surprised her in the middle of... just standing in Shiro's room? "Pidge, you need to get out of here. What are you even doing here?"  


She immediately adopts a defensive stance. Takes a few steps back, though. "What are _you_ doing here?", she snaps.  


"None of your business!" Lance counters.  


"Well none of your business either!" She screams.  


"Fine! Now get out!" Lance comes from a family of five siblings and Pidge is _not_ going to win at a screaming contest with him.  


"Hell no! I was here first!"  


"Well I was here second! My turn now!" Can't she just leave? What is she even doing here in the first place? This is Lance's opportunity to prove he has a talent, damnit!  


"Did Hunk send you to look for me? Did Allura? What the fuck do they need me to repair now?!" Pidge throws her arms in the air and starts pacing, turning around so fast her neck cracks.  


What? "No, uh—"  


"Then _what the fuck do you want?!_ " She spits. There's a manic glean in her eyes as she turns around and starts violently kicking Shiro's wall. This is coming out of nowhere. "Just fucking" Kick. "Leave me" Kick. "THE FUCK ALONE!" Kick, kick, kick. Her feet may be small but that's not gonna stop her from trying to destroy Shiro's bedroom.  


"Pidge, hey" Lance puts himself between Pidge and the wall. It proves to be a bad idea when Pidge just starts kicking his shins instead. "Hey! Cut it out!" Lance grabs her by the shoulders and she immediately slaps his hands away and takes a step back. "Dude..." She's panting. She looks away from him. "Pidge...", she turns away, her whole body folded into herself.  


Nobody talks for a moment. Lance should probably leave her alone like she asked but... he's worried.  


"I just..." Pidge finally whispers. "At least I had _him_ , you know? Everyone else is gone but I managed to at least get _him_ and...", she rakes both hands through her hair, messing it up even more than usual. "A—and he was going to get his memories back eventually and we were going to find them and now he's _gone too_ and fucking _Keith_ keeps talking about him as if he's _gone forever_ and _fuck!_ ", she turns around and starts kicking Shiro's bed. "FUCK!"  


"Hey!" Lance puts himself in the way of Pidge's deadly kicks again. He just doesn't learn ever.  


He grabs her by the shoulders, _again_. But this time Pidge just stands there, defeated, looking at the floor.  


"Hey! Look at me. Pidge, look at me!" Lance says, squeezing her shoulders.  


Eventually, after what Lance feels is an eternity, Pidge turns to look at Lance's face. She looks so _betrayed_.  


"Gonna hug you now. That ok?" She doesn't say anything, so Lance just goes for it. Pidge doesn't return the hug but she's not pushing him away either, so Lance considers this a win.  


"Hey, dude, we're gonna find him, okay? _I'm_ gonna find him", he continues, Pidge scoffs between his chest, disbelieving. But Lance was already expecting her not to believe him so whatever. "It's gonna be alright, okay?", he guides them so they're sitting in Shiro's bed, arms touching.  


Pidge just huffs, she probably has heard that "It's going to be okay" phrase enough to last her a lifetime.  


"I don’t think Keith means it, you know? I think he's trying to be a good leader or whatever. Make us look forward or something like that. He did it with Allura too, remember?" Wait, is Lance defending Keith now? That's a new one for him.  


He kinda needs to prevent Keith from being killed in his sleep right now, though. As much as he hates the guy, they kinda need him to form Voltron a little bit.  


"Yeah but, it's _Shiro_ this time!" Pidge counters. She probably notices how that argument sounds because she shakes her head immediately and starts to say, "...I don't mean Allura—"  


"No, I get it. Shiro's special for Keith too and he's Keith's beloved mentor and best friend and all that" Lance interrupts.  


And, damn. Lance has been doing this for all the wrong reasons, hasn't he? Keith is trying to be a good leader and move forward, Pidge's been leading a wild-goose chase with no hints whatsoever, and here is Lance with maybe a hint of a hint and what is he trying to prove? That he can find Shiro just so that he can finally say this thing that happens to him sometimes is not completely useless?  


Is he really seeking good?  


Or just seeking attention, as always?  


Lance's thoughts are interrupted by Shiro's door opening. Keith is standing in the threshold. Just great.  


"There you are!" He huffs as he looks at Lance, then he seems to realize just where he found Lance at. "Why are you here?" He says, tilting his head. Then he notices Pidge's smaller figure sitting next to Lance. "Why are you here?" He asks, even more confused.  


"None of your business Keith!", both Pidge and Lance answer at the same time.  


"This is a private conversation!" Lance continues.  


"Yeah! So fuck off, Keith!" Pidge says.  


"Yeah! Frick off, Keith!" Lance says.  


Pidge rolls her eyes and turns to him, her words coming out in a rush "Why can't you just say the fuck word Lance honestly it's the thing that pisses me off about you the most and _a lot_ of things you do piss me off so that's _saying something_ —" 

"Lance, can we talk?" Keith interrupts, brows furrowed.

Time for Lance's almost patented Dodging Technique: Feeling Offended And Leaving.

"Wow, okay. I don't need this negativity in my life. I'm leaving." He says, standing. He's about to put a hand in his chest and walk away with his chin up like a _winner_ , when a wave of dizziness rakes through him.

"Looks like Allura did it" Lance mumbles, stumbling. Black's heavy presence suddenly injects itself in the back of his skull. It feels as if a very heavy pebble appeared out of nowhere, pushing everything else aside. "Ugh".

"Lance?" He distantly hears Keith's worried voice. Suddenly interrupted by the whole place trembling with the emergency alarm. There's red lights everywhere. Coran's frantic voice can be heard between the noise.

"The castle is being attacked! We've been found somehow! _Again!_ ".

 

Black's presence keeps nagging at Lance's skull even after they've gotten into their lions and flown into outer space. There are Galra ships attacking them and Lance doesn't have _time_ for this.  


"What could she want, girl?", he asks Blue. It's not like Lance can _talk_ to Black, he's not her paladin. Heck, the lions can barely talk to _their_ paladins. Blue just sends him a general feeling of "confusion", she also recalls one of Lance's own memories. It's him in Black Lion, trying to convince Keith to step away so that Red can stop having an anxiety attack.  


"I did great, didn't I?" Lance preens. Blue just has time to send him kind of a "No, that's not it" vibe before they have to dodge a plasma shot that ends up crashing with the Castle's shield.  


"Be careful, Lance!" Coran's frantic voice can be heard through his comms. Lance can only respond with a grunt as Blue performs a series of complicated spins to dodge the Galra ship's lazer. There's an explosion behind Lance's back. Crap, there's a planet behind them. The ship's weapon collides with the planet's surface and Lance can feel a series of explosions. _"!!!!!!"_ , says Blue when pieces of... rock? Ice? When pieces of planet pass them at enormous speeds, soaring through space.  


"What planet is this?" Lance asks to no one in particular. If people live in this place then they must be in trouble. The comms are a chaos right now, though. Everyone's asking questions to everyone.  


"How did they even find us?!" Pidge asks.  


"Is it Black again?" Goes Keith.  


"It could be? Allura _did_ just wake her up when they appeared" Muses Hunk. There's a series of explosions obscuring his voice.  


"Are there people on this planet?" Lance repeats.  


"How're you doing over there, Allura?" Coran asks. He's all by himself managing the Castle while Allura pilots the Black Lion.  


"It's going... interesting" Grunts Allura. Lance gets a brief glance of her and Black as they pass each other. More explosions cause the grey planet to explode even more.  


"We gotta protect that planet!" Lance shouts.  


"That's G-36-05J! Just a meteorite Lance!" Coran finally answers him.  


"Oh— I knew that!" Lance blushes. Well, at least there's no people to worry about.  


Red and Keith zoom past them, firing their gigantic blowtorch at the half of the ship that's not completely frozen by Blue's Ice Ray. The difference in temperatures seems to weaken the ship's hull, which breaks in a series of cracks. Lance screams a "Whoop!" of victory.  


No time to celebrate though, the ship's ray is still very much working and Keith and Lance get separated as they dodge it. If Blue gets caught between it's power, they'll be space garbage for sure. They need something bigger.  


"We'll need to form Voltron!" Keith shouts.  


"Uh, _can_ we form Voltron?" Hunk asks. Good question. Can they even form a strong enough connection with their new black paladin?  


"Allura?" Keith asks.  


"I... I think so" she grunts. Her voice is insecure, completely out of her element, but so far Lance has seen her doing pretty alright. Time to be the team's cheerleader. Blue's chill calm wraps Lance's mind like water.  


"Nothing to lose, right?" Lance says with a daring smile. This'll be interesting!  


"If you don't count our precious time, then yeah" Pidge counters.  


"Let's just try it, see if it works. Lance is right", Keith continues. "Coran, cover for us while we transform".  


"Roger!" Coran screams. Lance can practically see him saluting his screen.  


The Lion's transformation into Voltron must be an amazing sight to behold. Not like Lance has ever _seen_ it, but he's sure it leaves mouths open and panties dropped. Nothing can compare to the sheer _feeling_ of being connected to a lion when she's forming Voltron, though. It's really hard for Lance to describe, but his senses get somehow... enhanced. Like he can sense auras or something. He feels his friends closer than ever, sometimes he even gets glimpses of his feelings. It's as if Lance is part of a net, or a nervous system, or a neuron! It's an amazing feeling to be so connected to someone.  


Not this time, though.  


Before the connection is made Blue's entire demeanor changes for one of _warning_ , and a heavy stone settles on Lance's stomach. He has no time to ask her what's wrong though, because as soon as the connection between the paladin's minds is made Lance vision blurs and the small but heavy pebble that was Black turns into a _huge siren rattling his entire brain_. He tries to tell her to stop but only a muted "Nngh—" comes out of his clenched teeth. Could Blue maybe tell her sister to cut it out? If he opens his mouth he's not sure he won't start screaming. His ears are ringing. He's trembling. Everything around him is merging and Lance can't close his eyes and Lance's blood is boiling and his head is heavy and he's going to _pass out_ —

_"—eith!? …. I'm——ere! … —nce? So— —ne?"_

There's something warm in Lance's face. A drop of blood splatters on Blue's controls. 

_"I'm —re!!"_

Lance's vision is turning black at the edges. 

_"I'M HERE!!"_

Blue's worried roar cuts through Lance's clattering brain. The pressure in his head _stops_. So fast it leaves Lance panting heavily, trying to get used to it. A hand comes up to wipe below his nose. Is he bleeding? Ugh. Blue's mind is frantic with worry, an image of Lance's red blood contrasting between her controls.  


"'M fine..." Lance pants, wiping the mess he left on Blue with his palm. Gross. He hopes it doesn't jam anything.  


Did everyone else feel that? Heard that?  


"Whoa, okay." Goes Hunk. He'd been talking for a while, but the ringing in Lance's ears is only just receding.  


"The connection is not strong enough", sighs Allura.  


The connection _is_ strong enough. Too strong.  


"Black stopped it?", asks Keith.  


_Blue stopped it, because of me._ Thinks Lance. Not like he's going to tell them, though. He doesn't want them to know he was too weak to withstand this new Voltron.  


_Is_ too weak, apparently. His hands are still trembling as he clutches with more force Blue's controls. No time to think about it. They still have a job to do.  


"Guys! Galra attack! Still happening!" Coran's alarmed shout cuts through their speculations. The lions scatter in different directions as they all resume their fighting.  


"This is not working!!" Shouts Pidge.  


"We need to retreat!" Shouts Hunk.  


"Ugh...", mumbles Lance. He's nauseous as _heck_ and Blue's sharp movements are _not_ helping. He's never going to make fun of Hunk for puking _ever again_. "Hunk, buddy. I appreciate you more and more every day".  


"Uh... thank you? …Same?" Hunk says, confused.  


"We need a distraction..." Keith mumbles, thinking to himself.  


One of the ships crash against the giant meteorite, sending pieces of it everywhere and making Lance's head spin with the new dodging maneuvers. Blue's still sending him waves of worry, and Lance smiles weakly and pats her seat. He'll be fine, he just needs some time to rest and _think_.  


"That's it! Lance, can you fire your sonar at the meteorite? Allura, return to the Castle and prepare to form a Wormhole. I'll cover you, Lance." Keith demands.  


"On it!" Someone else says.  


"Sure. Whatever." Lance says between clenched teeth. He tries to send I'm-chill-and-also-a-badass waves to Blue in hopes she'll calm down, but considering he's still bleeding from his nose, and that she's in his head 24/7, he knows he's probably doing a weak-ass job of it. How she hasn't called him on his bullcrap, he's not sure. "Let's do this, girl!" Ugh, too much enthusiasm, his head is pulsing again. Whatever. He inserts his bayard in the slot, and the whole cockpit shines with a soft blue light as her weapon emerges.  


He can feel Red and Keith around him, shooting at the ships. As much as he hates to admit it, Keith is very reliable, so Lance doesn't feel any fear — _almost any_ fear— as he turns his back to the attacks and fires a big wave of sound at the poor meteorite.  


Which immediately _explodes_. It disintegrates into a million pieces that go flying in every direction.  


"We need to _move!_ " Lance warns. Everything around him is chaos.  


"Head towards the Castle! Allura! Wormhole us away as soon as we enter!" Keith screams.  


"Understood!" Says Allura as the Castle begins to hum with her power. Lance and Keith fire a few more shots as they get to the castle.  


Whatever happens to the Galra ships after that, Lance doesn't know. He's too busy trying to _think_. "Freaking... stop...", he commands his migraine. At least he's stopped the nosebleed. Luckily he carries some wet wipes (or at least the space equivalent of them) on Blue all the time —he's not going to meet space cuties and important political space cuties with a sweaty face—, because now his face is clean of sweat and with no trace of blood. No one has to know his embarrassing incident. No one.  


Okay, so. He's apparently made some accidental discoveries that help his Find Shiro Again plan.  


Because he's pretty sure that voice he heard while they were forming Voltron was Shiro.  


Which would mean that theory about Black being somehow connected to Shiro's soul? Body? Whatever? That's _actually true_. How? Lance has no idea. Space Lion Magic, probably.  


Blue makes her equivalent of a snort at that Space Lion Magic.  


"Black and I are going to have _words_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith: says anything  
> Lance: I Came Out to Have a Good Time and I'm Honestly Feeling So Attacked Right Now


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance makes a discovery about himself. Well, two. Well, maybe three actually. He's actually got a lot more questions than answers?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooOooOoOaaagghghhahahahha gUYs OMG HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN??!!  
> DO YALL EVEN REMEMBER THIS? GOD IM SO SORRY LMFAOOO  
> (i really did mean it when i told yall i was going to take my sweet time between updates, this is _not_ dead though. it this ever dies i will make a post telling u, dont worry. (and i dont think it will okay shhh okay shhh)
> 
> ALSO! i went back and made some minor changes on the first chapter because even though i have an outline ya girl still a dumbass who cant keep her facts straight!! wow!! you dont need to go back and read the whole thing i just made them so that the timeline were more coherent NOW GO READ ILL LEAVE YOU ALONE CHEERS!

Back when they were starting with the whole “Paladins Must Bond” Sessions, Shiro had suggested the whole team should have a small meeting every day in the afternoon (or like, the equivalent of the afternoon in space, at least) to talk, eat, and hang out in general. A family dinner, he had said. 

Shiro’s empty seat in the table is right in front of Lance’s, and right now, it’s _mocking him_. 

He shouldn’t be here right now, he should be sleeping! In the Black Lion! 

“I shouldn’t be here right now… I’m gonna go work on something.” Urges Pidge as she eyes with mild distaste the bowl of food goo Coran is placing in front of her. 

Welp, she took the words right out of Lance’s mouth. 

“Cool if she’s gone then I’m out too ‘kay bye here Hunk have my goo” Lance blurts, standing up in a second and sliding his own bowl cantine-style through the table towards Hunk. That was kinda neat! 

Hunky catches his bowl like the most reliablest of friends, and looks at Lance with worry, “But you—” 

“It’s all okay, man” Lance interrupts him. He wouldn’t be able to eat anything anyway, he’s still kinda nauseous. 

“Pidge, Lance, sit down. We have to talk”. Allura’s voice interrupts his train of thought, she’s looking at Keith, who’s eyes are boring a hole on his untouched dinner, back straight and arms crossed. 

“Ooh-kayy?” Lance’s eyebrows shot up. He exchanges a surprised look with Pidge as they both take back their seats slowly. 

“We need to discuss the Black Paladin situation”, Allura continues. 

“What’s there to discuss? Allura is the new Back Paladin, right?” Pidge says as she tilts her head to the side. 

“Wait does that mean Allura is the leader of Voltron now?” Hunk asks. 

“Yes.” Keith says. 

“No.” Allura says at the same time. 

They both turn to look at each other. Surprise clear in their faces. 

The silence stretches for a few ticks, tension getting heavier. Lance is about to start running his mouth in hopes of relieving the whole situation when they both start suddenly speaking at the same time. 

“You are a princess! Aren’t princesses supposed to be leaders? I’m not cut out to be a leader at all! And the Black Lion chose you!” 

“Shiro named you as his successor! He trusts you to make good decisions! And the Black Lion did not chose me.” Allura wins their argument by sheer voice power. Lance is impressed. “She… We talked, sort of. I used the Castle’s energy and a little bit of my quintessence to wake her. And she agreed to let me pilot her but—.” She gulps. Suddenly her shoulders scrunch up and she pulls herself back in her chair. Her eyes move downwards. “She was very hesitant, and distant. Mostly she just flown herself and ignored me. It didn’t feel _right_ to be there”. Her sad expression meets Keith’s, and she looks very serious “I know you can pilot her, Keith. Shiro told me you did.” 

Wait. What. 

“Wait really!?” Lance blurts. 

Keith ignores him. “But Red—" 

“You’ve just got to talk to her and explain! I’m sure she’ll understand eventually! And I’ll pilot her!” Allura counters. Honestly, Lance is not sure why Allura doesn’t want to be Voltron’s leader. Is she afraid of failing them or something? 

“Allura has a point, Keith. If Shiro named you as his successor it must be because he believes you’re cut to be a competent leader.” Coran muses, stroking his mustache. “Besides, if both Allura and you can pilot the Black Lion, then it boils down to who is Black most comfortable piloting with, isn’t it?” 

“But, I mean, we _did_ form Voltron with Allura as the black paladin. That has to count for _something_ , right?” Hunk counters, he’s anxiously tilting Lance’s plate from one side to another between his hands. Lance’s eyes center on a small portion of goo that fell and is now doing a weird trembling little dance in the table. 

“Yeah. For like three seconds.” Pidge says as she pulls her eyebrows together. 

“Rude”, whispers Lance at her. She looks at him and shrugs. The nerve! 

“More than I expected! It’s not like Allura had _previous experience_! Uh, no offense, princess.” Hunk exclaims. 

“Well _I_ think Allura did fine! Amazing, even!” Lance interrupts. He doesn’t want to admit Voltron failed because of him being a weak butt, but he’s also not too comfortable with the idea of letting the rest of the team believe the whole fiasco was Allura’s fault. He’s not _that_ selfish. With a sigh, he starts to say, “Actually, it was—" 

“No. I did not.” Allura cuts him off, her voice strong. Her shoulders are squared, her expression serious. “My inexperience caused us to fall back, we got lucky, things could’ve ended up far worse.” She shudders. Lance thinks of the meteorite he destroyed with his sonar and how worried he’d been when he had thought it being habited. He shudders too. “Shiro chose Keith for a reason...” She smiles at each one of the team. Her reassuring expression stops last on Keith’s face. “And I’m sure he made the right decision, I trust him.” 

Keith looks at Allura, his face a mix of confused and hopeless. He tears his eyes away and sighs. Hopelessness is winning. 

“Let’s just… Sleep for now.” He finally says. 

 

 

It shouldn’t have been that hard to sneak into the Black Lion.  
One would think with the Castle being this big and with so little people living here, dodging them should be easy. But the fact is, Lance had had to dodge _three_ of the habitants of this castle while coming here. First Hunk ( _”Nah, man. I’m eating fine, it’s nothing! You worry too much, big guy.”_ ), then Coran ( _”I did go to the infirmary and let me tell you, I am one heck of a specimen. Very healthy too!”_ ), and then, finally, Keith ( _”Hey, no. Sleep now, questions later. I need my beauty sleep… and you kinda look like you need it too.”_ ). With all the dodging maneuvers he did to get here Lance totally forgot to bring his sleeping kit. 

Well, it’s not like he’s going to wear pajamas to the _Black Lion_ , that would be weird, right? And he can’t use Pidge’s headphones because he needs to _not_ drown out the dreams this time. And he doesn’t want to smear face mask in Black’s controls or something. So everything turned out fine, really… He probably should’ve brought a blanket or a pillow to help him sleep better. But how uncomfortable can it be anyway? 

As it turns out, very. 

Pacing is probably not helping either. He should probably sit. 

Lance hesitantly settles in Black’s driver seat. He can’t help but feel like he’s trespassing or something. “I hope this works”, he mumbles. He’s gonna be so embarrassed if someone finds out he spent the night here. What is he even going to tell them, that he was trying to drive the Black Lion? 

Wait. 

_Can_ he drive the Black Lion? 

Slowly, he puts his hands in Black’s controls. A shudder passes through him as he feels the lion’s power humming in each button, the mightiest of the legendary. It’s a little intimidating. Okay it's _very_ intimidating. His mind fills with images of him, the black leader, guiding his team towards victory against an entire Empire. He can still feel Black’s presence in the back of his head, even stronger now that he’s sitting inside her. But her intentions do not feel like she plans to let Lance control her. Instead, she appears to be transmitting just one word: 

_Hurry._

Lance sighs. Of course he’s not cut out to be the mighty black leader. Why would Black even acknowledge someone like him when she has two candidates as amazing as Keith and Allura to choose from? 

Blue purrs inside his mind. _It doesn't work like that._

Whatever, he still has a job to do. 

He rests his head between his arms in Black’s control board. Swallows the lump in his throat as he shuts his eyes so hard he sees white spots. 

 

 

He’s underwater. 

The darkness is disconcerting. For a second, Lance isn’t sure which way is up and which is down. Then an explosion of light happens above him. 

Across the clear water, he can see Blue’s bright silhouette surrounded by smoke and stars. Her back is turned to him and she’s flying away. Towards the sky. Away from Lance. 

“BLUE!” He shouts, but instead of sound a huge air bubble comes out, and he cant’t breathe. Stupid. _Stupid_. He starts frantically kicking the water to get close to the surface, it’s not getting any closer. His eyes never leave Blue for a second. _Don’t leave me_. He can’t scream. He’s too far away. His lungs are _burning_. He’s kicking as hard as he can but it’s not enough. Blue is only a blurry dot in the sky now. It’s not enough. He can’t reach the surface. Not enough not _enough_. Water is shooting down his nose. He extends one of his hands towards the sky. _He’s not enough_ — 

He wakes up with a gasp, breathing like he really _was_ drowning, taking in huge gulps of air and making a little bit too much noise. 

Welp, time to bury that dream in his mind forever! 

He’s about to curse his luck and try to go to sleep again when he realizes… he's not in the Black Lion anymore... 

Lance is standing in a huge… nothing. If he looks down, he can see a dim, purple grid, glowing faintly. Beneath that, the complete blackness of space, a void so deep an uneasy sensation of vertigo clutches at his stomach. 

Lance decides to stop looking down. He’s not scared! No, really! It’s just… disorienting. 

Except… Now that his eyes are getting used to the darkness, he can see the place is not completely empty. The dim outline of an unknown planet looms above him, and all around it, Lance is starting to see a scattering of stars. _A lot_ of stars. 

Did he… Did he made it? 

He actually made it!!! 

“Holy cheese!” Lance pumps his fists in the air. He made it! He conjured a plan and followed through and _it worked! It totally worked!_ There’s no way this _isn’t_ the same place he saw Shiro the first time. Lance is a genius! A genius who can also dance some choice moves in celebration. Heck yeah! 

Okay Lance, concentrate now. Phase two. 

Where, exactly, is he? 

Is there any way to know his location? Maybe if he looks up the planet when he wakes up? Maybe he can memorize the position of the stars and look for that exact outline later? Maybe Shiro knows something about it? 

And for that matter, where is Shiro? 

“Lance?” A voice asks behind him. Lance turns. 

“Shiro!” He exclaims. 

Shiro’s surprised expression doesn’t hide the huge bags under his eyes. Or his hollow cheeks. Or how he appears to be swaying in place a little “Whoa”, Lance says as Shiro’s body tilts a little bit too hard and he shots his hands forward to help him stay on his feet. Lance is grabbing his arms now. 

Wait. 

“You can see me?! I can touch you?!” He marvels. Shiro's arms feel _real_ in his hands. Which shouldn't be possible because normally he can only observe in this type of dreams. What. 

“Are you real?” Shiro asks like he very much can see him. 

“I mean, I’m not _real_ real. Like my body’s not really here. I’m kind of a projection.” Probably. Like Lance can't feel his body sleeping in Black but he _assumes_ he's still there. You know, like in all his other normal Weird Dreams. Which do not look like this one. This is not going according to plan. Lance wasn't expecting for Shiro to be able to see him. This literally never happens. 

“But how?” Shiro asks. 

If only Lance _knew himself_. “It’s… Complicated. It’s whatever. It doesn’t matter.” He dismisses with a wave of his hand. He’s decided he’s going to ignore all the glaringly _weird_ things about this dream too, like the fact that he seems to be doing an astral dream projection of some kind at the moment. Or something. Is this a totally different thing from whatever he’d been doing before? “So this is… Happening in real life. Right now my body is sleeping in the Black Lion. Which I know sounds weird but _totally worked_ , okay. And it was either that or sleeping in your bed which, like, _weirder_ , so this is—” 

“Wait, Black brought you here?” Shiro interrupts, surprised. 

“Yeah! And I’m here to rescue you!” Lance extends his arms. Smiles his 1000-watt smile and breaks out the jazz hands. 

“Is that what happened the last time too? Where’s Keith?” Shiro looks around as if his favorite one is somehow hiding behind Lance or something. 

Ugh. 

_Okay, winner_. He tells himself. _Don't take it personal. He's just wondering where Keith is because last time he was here._ His voice still comes out a little dryer than intended when he says: “Star Paladin couldn’t make it this time. You’re gonna have to make do with me.” 

“Star Paladin?” Shiro asks, confused. 

“Anyway! Let’s get out of here!” Lance claps his hands. Why is he so awkward? Why can't he just _be normal around Shiro jesus c h r i s t–_

“I wish it was that easy,” Shiro says. He sits down on the invisible floor. Only it's not so much sitting down and more of a letting-himself-fall-to-the-floor-because-his-legs-can't-hold-him-properly-anymore' sitting down kinda deal. Lance sits right next to him. 

“What do you mean? We just gotta figure out where exactly is this place and then when I wake up we can wormhole the castle to this location and pick you up! Right?” He asks, hopeful. 

“I’ve been here before once. When I was bonding with Black so that Zarkon would stop tracking us through their connection." Shiro starts. "She took my mind here while I was sitting in her cockpit." Wait. So kind of what Lance does in his Weird Dreams? "I don’t think this place exists as a physical location, Lance.” 

“You mean… We’re _inside_ Black’s mind right now?” Or in some kind of Weird Astral Plane? Alternate Pocket Dimension? The Upside Down? Shiro's head lolls before he quickly snaps himself back up again. “Whoa. Are you okay?” Lance asks, putting his hands in front of him as if to catch him in case he falls. 

“Just… Tired.” Shiro mumbles. 

Lance hadn't wanted to say anything in case Shiro had wanted to keep his street cred alive but, “More like _exhausted!_ What’s wrong?”, he ends up blurting. 

“…can’t sleep” 

Huh, to be honest he was kind of expecting to hear something more heroic. Something like _yes I am the mighty Shiro and I will not rest until I'm back in the real world with my Young Beautiful Padawan Keith_. “Is Black… stopping you from sleeping?” He speculates, cocking an eyebrow. 

“No. Zarkon is.” 

“...Zarkon.” 

“You saw him. He appears here sometimes. Seems to be stuck in some kind of inbetween the real world and this mindscape. I don’t know how he does it.” Shiro shakes his head, voice filled with dread. “But if he catches me sleeping, I’m dead”. 

Lance has a bad image of Zarkon's sword through Shiro's unsuspecting chest. Yikes. Yeah he can see how not sleeping is the better alterative here. 

That doesn't take away the fact that Shiro still looks _wrecked_. Like he's going to keel over at any time. He still needs to sleep, somehow. 

“What if you sleep and I watch out for him?” Lance blurts. Except... that's actually a good idea, for once! Shiro gives him an incredulous look. “What, you don't think I can take Zarkon on my own?" Keith totally did it! Except kinda. Except not really. Okay, "If he returns, I’ll wake you up”. 

Shiro still doesn't look convinced. “We should discuss how to get out of here.” 

And... yeah, but. “You can barely stand! If you pass out from exhaustion…” 

“…right.” Shiro concedes. He's probably even more tired than he's letting on if he's agreeing with Lance. He lays down on the floor. “Lance?” 

“Yeah?” 

“How long has it been?” 

“...two weeks.” 

“Two weeks.” Shiro echoes. His eyes look hollow. 

“It’s not that much. And now that I found you I can figure something out!” Lance blurts, just to keep Shiro from looking like that. 

“ _We_ can figure something out”, he corrects him, a small, probably trying to be reassuring, smile. 

“Right.” Lance smiles, crossing his legs into a more comfortable position for optimal guarding techniques. “Sleep first, though”. 

"Sleep first", Shiro agrees as he curls up on himself and closes his eyes with a sigh. 

A few tics pass. 

Lance's leg is twitching. 

He turns to look at Shiro, who's curled up on the non-floor. 

Like this, Lance can't help but feel Shiro looks kinda... vulnerable. Which is just _weird_ , okay. See Lance knows Shiro's only human (except for the part where he's one eight of a cyborg too heyooo), but he's never looked quite like this! At least, not in front of Lance. 

Probably in front of Keith, though. 

_Okay Lancito_ , he speaks to his brain, _maybe chill a little? It's not their fault they were friends before all this happened and thus have more confidence between each other. Friends. They're friends. Get over it bebé. It's fine. Salty Lance out. Sweet Lance in._

Sweet Lance Who Does Good Things For His Friends And Not Thinks About Himself All The Time In. 

"Hey. Psst. Shiro? Are you sleeping?" 

No response. 

This. 

Is. 

B O R I N G. 

Okay! Shiro's sleeping!! Good! Lance will _not_ think about himself for once and spend all of his concentration on looking after Shiro! He can do that! He can do that and _Keith can't!_ Ha! 

Wait. Salty Lance out! Damnit! 

Right, change of plans. He's just going to watch the horizon, ignore the fact that his good motivations are corrupted because he's a Bad Friend and can only think about himself, and try not to cry. 

Also there's Zarkon approaching them at eleven o'clock. 

Wait. 

ZARKON'S APPROACHING THEM AT ELEVEN O'CLOCK. 

"SH–" Lance cuts himself. He is _not_ waking Shiro up. Even though huge alarms are blaring in Lance's head right now. Shiro's exhausted. Lance can do this on his own. His hands are _not_ trembling. He stands in front of Shiro's unmoving form and tries to look menacing. 

Zarkon's figure keeps getting closer. 

And bigger. 

Just how big is he?! 

Zarkon was probably not expecting a scrawny Cuban boy to be in here, because he stops in his tracks in front of him. He eyes him with hollow, intelligent eyes from high above. His tall figure looms over Lance and does not help on making him feel less like a pathetic insect. Zarkon looks menacing and _ancient_. Like he's lived millions and millions of years. Which, he has. 

"The Medium" He rasps. Voice as knowing and ancient as his face. 

What. 

"What", Lance echoes. Sooo smart. His voice did not tremble, though. That’s a win. 

"Which means you must be the Blue Paladin" Zarkon keeps saying and hooooly crab. 

"How d'you know that?!" Lance blurts. Wait no. _Boy you're NOT making smart decisions right about now!!!!!!!_. Backtrack! Backtrack! Backtrack! backtrack– "I mean... no I'm not!" 

Lance is just. So smart. So eloquent. Such a way with the words– 

"Small and unexperienced. You don't yet know." Zarkon says. That feels like an insult? Lance is about to respond with something snappy like _You underestimate my power_ when Super Lord Zarkon takes a few steps forward, looking past Lance and directly at Shiro. 

"H-hey!" Lance extends his arms and legs, trying to look larger. "You'll have to pass through me first!" Except, he doesn't look too intimidating right now does he? He doesn't even have a weapon, _god_. So unprepared! Zarkon is pulling out a sword from god knows where and Lance is feeling! The! _Anxiety!_ Right now! 

"No use, Medium. You can't touch me." Zarkon says, calm. He keeps stepping towards Shiro and Lance panics. 

He suddenly remembers one of Keith's sessions on hand-to-hand combat. _"Your best offense is getting into your opponent's personal bubble"_ , he'd said. _"You're out of range from kicks and, well, it's your natural instinct anyways"_. 

Welp. Here goes nothing. 

He runs headfirst towards Zarkon's torso. Which he definitely didn't expect because he doesn't do anything to like, counterattack of something. Probably because he believes Lance will pass right through him just like Keith did. Except Lance _doesn't_. He grabs Zarkon's sword arm and holds for dear life. 

"Ha! How do you like tha– Ack!" As soon as his hands make contact with Zarkon's skin Lance's fingers are _burning_. What the heck? It's so cold he can't feel his hands. There are ants running through his arms. What's happening?! 

"Hnng!" Zarkon clenches his teeth, he seems surprised and... in pain? Lance can't 100% tell because his head is spinning. He's trembling all over. _It's so cold_. Even if he wanted to let go of Zarkon's arm, his hands are so clammy it'd be impossible. 

"Wh–" Behind him, Shiro wakes up. Lance turns slowly, afraid his neck might break from the cold. Shiro stands up, alarmed. 

"H-hey Sh-shiro... Z-Zarkon's here s-sorry I didn't wake y-you up I– ack!" His voice is more tremble than voice, he's barely understandable. Zarkon growls behind him, trying to free himself from him. He shakes his arm violently and something in Lance's mind twists. Lance _pushes_. It's like trying to move a concrete block. He's so slow he feels like he's been submerged on soup and he's _so cold_. He can feel himself waking up. "I-I have to go!" He blurts towards Shiro. His fingers are disappearing. "I'll be back! I promise!" Shiro stands up and turns on his glowy-deadly arm. At least he looks a little more rested right now. "Sorr–" 

He wakes up. 

"–y!" 

God damnit. 

He's still trembling, his body still cold all over. At least his fingers aren't burning anymore. Lance looks at his hands. They're fine, no purple fingers or frostbite. 

What the heck? 

"Lance!" 

Wait. Oh. Oh no. 

"Keith! You just ruined _everything!_ " Lance screams to a completely surprised Keith. He's standing next to him with a hand over his shoulder and _that's_ why he woke up so suddenly! Keith woke Lance up and left Shiro alone with Zarkon! 

"Ruined what? Why are you trembling?" Keith's face is a mixture between alarm and his ever-present anger. 

"I need to go back to sleep!" Lance shouts as a response. He shuts his eyes as hard as he can and... 

Okay he just looks like a fool in front of Keith right now. What's new. It's useless anyway. 

"Never mind", he says, sighing. Instead he tries to concentrate in stopping his trembling. Keith's hand on his shoulder is spreading warmth through him, he focuses on that. 

Okay, to be honest (and only because Lance is in the privacy of his own mind and Keith will _never_ hear him say any of this out loud), Keith probably just saved his skin back there. If he were to be still touching Zarkon... he'd probably be dead of hypotermia right about now. 

Or his mind would be dead or whatever happens when you die on a Mystic Lion's mindscape. Huh. "What are you doing here anyway?" He snaps at Keith. 

Keith recoils. His expression is one of a deer in headlights. A cat in headlights. "What are _you_ doing here?!", he snaps back. 

"I asked you first!" 

"I was... on a midnight run?" 

"...on _Black._ " Lance deadpans. 

"...yeah?" 

" _Riiiight_ , okay". 

"What were _you_ doing here anyway!?" 

Two can totally play this game, "I was totally on a midnight run too!" 

"Lance. _You were sleeping!_ " 

"Taking a break!" 

"Why are you being so difficult!?" 

"Why are _you_ being so difficult!?" 

"I WAS LOOKING FOR SHIRO! OKAY?" Keith screams. 

"…" What can Lance even say, _of course_ that's why Keith is here. "I thought you said we should be looking forward." He replies, coolly. 

"I know, I just–" Keith turns his face away from Lance, frowning. "I can't let morale lower more than it already is. We need to move on and focus on defeating Zarkon. That's what Shiro would've wanted", he finishes. 

"Yet you're still here." Lance deadpans. It's only Lance's fault Keith is here anyways. The guy is not dumb! He probably just assumed Lance was not going to tell him anything and decided to look for clues on his own, and just like Lance, he probably figured out the Black Lion was the first place to start. Lance takes a deep breath. Another deep breath. He's about to betray the code he's lived by since he was like, eight or something. "Look, I get it. I think." Uuuughhhh just saying that is making him physically _ill_ god. But if he doesn't do anything, Shiro will probably die. And Keith will die out of anxiety too, probably. "Okay I'll tell you. You'll have to believe me, okay, just listen." He takes a deep breath. Keith is looking at him really weird. Like he's holding the secrets of the entire universe. "I know where he is." 

"You–" 

"And I think I can take you with me" 

"You–" 

"But it's going to sound suuper weird and I just want this on the record I'm _not happy with this..._ " Should he really tell him? Oh god Lance is getting nauseous now. This is so much harder than he'd thought. Oh god. _No turning back now Lancito SAY IT SAY IT NOW–_

"Lance get to the point!" 

"Okay. Don't laugh, but I think I'm force sensitive." 

"…" 

_LANCE_ , his mind is screaming at him. _WHAT THE FU–_

"You're. What." 

_REPHRASE NOW!!!_

"Aaand I think I can take you to see Shiro but for that you'll have to hold my hand and sleep with me." 

"…" 

_I'M DYING. I'M GONNA DIE RIGHT HERE OUT OF EMBARRASMENT. ZARKON? NAH. THIS RIGHT HERE._

" _Ugh_. No. Again." 

See, here's the thing. It worked last time, right? Last time he passed out in Black Lion, he was holding Keith's hand and _that's_ what took Keith with him to Black's Upside Down. Right? Right? 

Why can't he just say this out loud like a _normal person instead of being a weird freaking creep–_

The castle's alarms blare up. Keith stands up. 

"THE CASTLE IS UNDER ATTACK?! THEY'VE FOUND US AGAIN!" Allura's frantic voice says through the comms. 

Oh no 

"You'll explain this later?" Keith turns too look at him, alarmed. 

And... it's not like Lance has a choice here, right? "...Yeah." He relents. 

"Promise" Keith is looking at him so seriously. The cool purple light of Black's cabin kinda makes him look... ethereal. Like he's not real or something. 

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let's go." Lance waves his hand. Together they exit Black. Looking for their lions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [.](http://a-bichol.tumblr.com/post/160596484420/guardian-of-water-idk-why-i-made-this-or-what-it)   
> 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> thanks for reading k guyes i love yall byeeeee


End file.
